It is normal to experience a decrease in sexual desire in a long-term relationship. This can be caused by many factors, such as stress, fatigue, or changes in lifestyle. If you are feeling a lack of desire to have a relationship with your spouse, it is important to take steps to reconnect with them.
Loss of Intimacy
When couples experience a decrease in sexual desire, it can be a sign of a deeper issue within the relationship. This can be caused by a lack of communication, unresolved conflicts, or feeling disconnected from your partner. It is important to take the time to talk to your partner and figure out what may be causing the lack of intimacy.
Reconnecting with Your Spouse
In order to reconnect with your spouse, it is important to take the time to talk to them. Ask them how they are feeling, and listen to their responses. Spend time together doing activities you both enjoy, such as going for a walk, cooking dinner, or watching a movie. Make sure to express appreciation for one another, and show your partner that you care about them. Additionally, it may be helpful to make time for physical intimacy, such as massage or cuddling.
Reconnecting with your spouse can help to rekindle the intimacy in the relationship. It is important to take the time to talk to each other and figure out what may be causing a decrease in sexual desire. Additionally, expressing appreciation and engaging in physical intimacy can help to bring the spark back into the relationship.
According to author Sheila Wray Gregoire, the main cause of waning marital intimacy is called “Post Honeymoon Period Syndrome”. This is a natural process that occurs in long-term marriages and can lead to a decrease in marital intimacy and sexual desire.
Often, once the honeymoon period of a marriage wears off, couples can go through a period of adjustment. The adjustment usually involves both partners taking on roles that may not have been as noticeable during their honeymoon period. For example, one partner may take on a larger role of providing financially, while the other partner may take a larger role of housekeeping and childcare. While these roles may provide functional support to the couple, they can also make it difficult to prioritize time for intimacy.
Individuals may also find themselves going through different life phases. This often happens as they reach different milestones in their lives such as: having children, moving to different cities/states, living together in the same city/state, and retirement. Life’s changes can cause individuals to be pulled in different directions, making their marriage priorities a low priority.
There are many other external and internal factors which may lead to a decrease in marital intimacy and sexual desire. Aging, hormonal changes, stress, and the effect of media on one’s perception of beauty can all contribute to the growing distance between spouses over time. Oftentimes, individuals who are going through this adjustment period may identify feelings of shame, guilt and sadness.
In order to reverse this trend and revamp the connection between husband and wife, it is important to take small steps to reignite the flame of marital intimacy. This can start with taking the time to understand why the marriage has changed, embracing change, and redefining roles in the relationship. Communicating openly and honestly about one’s needs and desires can help to stimulate desire and reignite a greater connection in the marriage. During this period, one may also benefit from seeking counsel from friends and/or marriage therapists to help work through any issues that may be preventing the couple from creating a fulfilling marital dynamic.
Ultimately, the goal is to make a concerted effort to rediscover what made the marriage worth preserving in the first place and make it worth preserving again. When couples can reconnect on the level of emotional intimacy, they may find that the newly invigorated connection fuels a deeper desire to reconnect physically as well.